The Wit and Wisdom of Discworld

By Terry Pratchett, Stephen Briggs

For greater than 20 years, Terry Pratchett has been regaling readers with stories of Discworld—a flat international balanced at the backs of 4 elephants, that are status at the again of a big turtle, flying via area. it's a global populated by way of ineffectual wizards and sharp-as-tacks witches, via drained policemen and devious dictators, by means of reformed thieves and vampires who've sworn to drink no blood. it's a global that's greatly assorted from our personal . . . other than while it isn't.

Now, in The Wit and knowledge of Discworld, a number of nuggets of Pratchett's witty remark and sagacious observations were compiled through Pratchett specialist Stephen Briggs, a guy who, they are saying, is familiar with much more approximately Discworld than Terry Pratchett.

Within those pages, you will discover musings on:

  • Interior decorating: "It's a truth recognized through the universes that regardless of how conscientiously the colours are selected, institutional decor finally ends up as both vomit eco-friendly, unmentionable brown, nicotine yellow, or surgical equipment crimson. by means of a few little-understood means of sympathetic resonance, corridors painted in these colours continuously scent a bit of boiled cabbage—even if no cabbage is ever cooked within the vicinity." (Equal Rites)
  • Travel: "Any pro vacationer quickly learns to prevent something wanted on them as a 'regional speciality,' simply because all of the time period skill is that the dish is so disagreeable the folk dwelling all over else will chunk off their very own legs instead of devour it. yet hosts nonetheless press it upon far-off visitors besides: 'Go on, have the dog's head filled with macerated cabbage and beef noses—it's a local speciality.'" (The final Continent)
  • Young men: "And then there has been the younger male stroll. at the least girls swung in simple terms their hips. younger males swung every thing, from the shoulders down. you might want to try and occupy loads of house. It makes you glance larger, like a tomcat fluffing his tail. the lads attempted to stroll immense in self-defense opposed to all these different massive boys in the market. i am undesirable, i am fierce, i am cool, i would like a pint of shandy and me mam desires me domestic through nine." (Monstrous Regiment)
  • Class: "'Old funds' intended that it were made goodbye in the past that the black deeds that had initially stuffed the coffers have been now traditionally beside the point. humorous, that; a brigand for a father was once whatever you saved quiet approximately, yet a slave-taking pirate for a great-great-great-grandfather used to be anything to boast of over the port. Time became the evil bastards into rogues, and rogue was once a note with a twinkle in its eye and not anything to be ashamed of." (Making Money)

. . . and extra! Culled from the entire Discworld novels, The Wit and knowledge of Discworld confirms Pratchett's position within the pantheon of serious satirists and proves why the Chicago Tribune has praised his Discworld as "entertaining and gloriously humorous . . . an accomplishment not anything wanting magical."

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Its physique can grasp the final thought, yet its pores and skin can’t. The Librarian was once doing his top, even though, status in a kind of respectful heap on the finish of the road and conserving the type of complicated salute you could merely in achieving with a four-foot arm. * ‘Do you're thinking that choosing anyone up by way of their ankles and bouncing their head at the flooring comes below the heading of notable an outstanding Officer? ’ acknowledged Carrot. * ‘Ah, pageantry’ acknowledged the monarchist, pointing along with his pipe. ‘Very vital. plenty of spectacles.

Certain, Magda. ’ ‘Well, a girl can hold a knife, can’t she? ’ ‘It’s a sabre, Magda. You’re attempting to cover it, yet it’s a sabre. ’ ‘But I’m in simple terms utilizing it like a knife, Polly’ ‘It’s 3 ft lengthy, Magda. ’ ‘Size isn’t very important, Polly’ ‘No one believes that. go away it in the back of a tree, please. ’ it really is a longtime undeniable fact that, regardless of every little thing society can do, women of 7 are magnetically interested in the color crimson. ‘Sir, you recognize you stated you have been going to thieve a gate key off a defend and holiday his neck?

Along with, Ridcully used to be recognized to sleep with loaded crossbows by means of his mattress. He used to be a type guy and possibly wouldn’t shoot you in either ears. * there has been an Ankh-Morpork legend approximately a few outdated drum within the Palace that used to be purported to bang itself if an enemy fleet was once visible crusing up the Ankh. The legend had died out in fresh centuries, in part simply because this used to be the Age of cause and in addition simply because no enemy fleet might sail up the Ankh with no gang of guys with shovels entering into entrance. * Unseen college used to be used to eccentricity one of the college.

The place nobody precisely recollects the entire ideas. ’ ‘Which doesn’t cease an individual suggesting that you just play for pennies. ’ ‘And 5 mins later there’s humans no longer talking to each other for the remainder of their lives due to tuppence. ’ ‘And a few terrible little kid—’ ‘I comprehend, i do know! a few little child who’s been allowed to stick up wins everyone’s cash by means of being a foul little cut-throat swot! ’ ‘And don’t overlook the presents,’ acknowledged the Chair of Indefinite reports, as though examining off a few inner checklist of gloom.

Yet he’s you! ’ ‘Is he? Huh! You’d imagine I’d examine me, wouldn’t you? What a bastard! ’ It wasn’t that Ridcully used to be silly. really silly wizards have the existence expectancy of a tumbler hammer. He had fairly a strong mind, however it was once strong like a locomotive, and ran on rails and was once as a result virtually most unlikely to guide. Shawn took a deep breath and leaned over the battlements. ‘Halt! Who is going There? ’ he stated. ‘It’s me, Shawn. Your mum. ’ ‘Oh, hi, Mum. hi, Mistress Weatherwax. ’ ‘Let us in, there’s a superb boy.

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