Paradise Screwed: Selected Columns of Carl Hiaasen

By Carl Hiaasen

"Takes readers on a head-shaking romp via a south Florida that they may not locate in any vacationer brochure. . . . Hiaasen's writing is courageous and the goals unending: politicians, municipal staff, judges, lobbyists, zoning forums, evangelists, athletic franchises, environmental scofflaws, Disney, the NRA, monstrous Tobacco. . . . Pulls no punches and retains his humorousness and outrage firmly intact."--Publishers Weekly

"These sharp, fun items verify Hiaasen's prestige as a fowl so rare--the funny renowned novelist with an acutely serious social perspective--that he is virtually an endangered species."--Kirkus Reviews

"He writes approximately politics and politicians, crime and criminals, traditional humans and notable humans, and many simply simple south Florida weirdness. . . . in addition to Kick Ass, this is among the most sensible collections of occasional journalism released in fresh years."--Booklist (starred review)

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Fellow judges took pity on their de-robed colleague and showered him with court-appointed instances. in the course of his first week within the actual international, Mastos billed the county for greater than eighty three hours of protection work—about $3,500. no longer undesirable for an upstart. In his first complete month, Mastos raked in $52,345 from court docket appointments. documents convey that Mastos labored at a superhuman velocity. two times he charged the county for greater than 24 hours of criminal paintings overnight! Perry Mason, devour your center out. it sounds as if Mastos’ cronies at the bench observed not anything fishy approximately his alleged paintings behavior, as they licensed his hefty charges with out query.

And what a pleasant deal with for the puppy, after an extended day of sniffing out hand-grenade smugglers and luggage thieves. Which brings us to the awful plight of yankee airways, lately the objective of a humiliatingly effective drug sting. Heroin within the beverage carts gave new intending to the slogan “something distinct within the air. ” answer? A seek puppy on each aircraft. provide ’em the run of the joint, from cockpit to shipment carry. think. No dope, no incendiary units, no drunks hassling the flight attendants, no creep in row 27 bitching approximately his Salisbury steak.

Ever because the days of Al Capone, Mafia trip brokers have given Florida a four-star ranking. Santo Trafficante settled in Tampa. Meyer Lansky fell in love with Miami seashore and moved there along with his puppy. Johnny Roselli was once a standard, too, till he unintentionally crammed himself into an oil drum and rolled into Biscayne Bay. lately, you have examine a big-time mafioso who bought a $400,000 domestic in castle Lauderdale. he's Little Nicky Scarfo (one of the all time nice names for a gangster. Mario Puzo couldn’t dream up a reputation like that).

They’re now not kidding, both. The light-weight Tec-9 can fire greater than 30 rounds with out reloading. final February, this kind of weapons used to be used opposed to Broward Sheriff’s deputy Jack Greeney, who was once murdered whilst he attempted to forestall a theft. whilst captured, one of many suspects nonetheless carried the revenues receipt for the Tec-9. The gun is one of many versions made through a South Dade corporation known as Navegar, sometimes called Intratec united states. In might 1989, Intratec filed below bankruptcy 7 in U. S. financial ruin court docket, directory resources of merely $100 and money owed of $3,112.

He observed they have been donning caps with an insignia for Alpha sixty six, the anti-Castro paramilitary staff. The park rangers accrued the guns: a handgun and five semiautomatic rifles—three . 308-caliber H-and-K version 91s, a . 223 Springfield and a . 223 Colt. no less than of the rifles had stay bullets. “Particularly imposing,” the ranger recalled. The commandos—seven males and one woman—said they have been staging an attack workout for a traveling tv group from WBZ in Boston. From a distance the rangers had now not obvious any cameras, however the television workforce (not wearing black) verified the story—and started to film the commandos being frisked by way of the park rangers.

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